Hard Time and New Dress

This week has been hard! I don't get how it could have gotten any worse then last week but it seem to have gotten worse! This week I felt so alone. I guess that that part is because Andrew has been down at Grandma and Grandpa's house since Monday night. So the house has been quiet and maybe a little too quiet for my liking. Rick has been so tired lately that it is just dinner for him and then bed, he wakes up and has to run out the door to make it to work in time. We still have 20 days of this. I can tell you that I hate it. I think that this time it is harder then 2 years ago when we both were working out there. I was on days and he was on nights. I think that I saw him more than I see him now. Back then I got to see him in the morning (he would wake me up) and then I would bring him the paper before he started. This is right after we got engaged. I took him dinner almost every night. I don't think that I got home until like 9 every night and went straight to bed. That time was harder I really don't know why but it was.

This week I have been crying every day and I even think every night. It is just hard to see Rick and not be able to really spend any time with him or even really talk to him. I have to keep my crying to myself so I don't make him feel bad. He is working long hard hours for me. The least that I can do is do that for him.

Tonight Andrew is back and he is just getting over a really bad cold so it was cold medicine and vicks with a warm wash cloth on his chest before bed. Bed time is early tonight because he wants to see daddy in the morning and that's an early morning! When we got home from Grandmas and Grandpa's place he got to do his Easter egg hunt. He was so excited to be able to do it. On Sunday when he came home from his moms place I didn't get a call telling me that they were on the way or else it would have been done then.

I am really hoping that this next week goes better for me. I actually have a project to work on now. I am sewing a dress for myself. It is going to be somewhat difficult. I already am having a time with the bodice. I just think that I make things complicated. So we will see if I get it done by the time Rick is done night shift. Oh yeah this dress material is an old sheet! I am so excited to see how it turns out. This dress will have cost me like $10 by the time I'm done.

Birthday Goals

So I really don't have much to blog about today! I turned 24 yesterday! I got to have a day of relaxing and grocery shopping! I got to make Lindsay's Pork chops! I have pork chops every year for my birthday! I don't really know why but I just know it as my birthday tradition!

Goals for the next year is just to live a healthier life! I really want to eat better! If anyone has any tips for me please let me know! I don't know how to control it. I know that I'm addicted to food. How do you change from being addicted to something? I don't really have a problem with sugar or sweets my main problem is bread, pasta, crackers and anything along those lines. I hate myself for it I think that the only way that I can control it is just to go cold turkey with it and then add it in little at a time but whole wheat. I don't know how else to do it.

So I will do this and I am hoping that by my next birthday I will have lost weight and a healthier me.

I could use some help with healthy recipes and tips to keep me on track. I will keep all updated with my goals for the next year.

Easter

So today is Easter! I have been spending my day trying to be quiet and putting Easter stuff together for my family. We don't have Andrew today he is at his moms house. It kind of has made me sad! I had to dye Easter eggs all by myself! I think I did an okay job but Andrew is going to be sad that he didn't get to do it with me. I have an Easter egg hunt all planned for tonight when he gets home. 62 plastic eggs, 17 dyed eggs and 1 Easter basket! I just hope that I remember to take pictures.

Next weekend we are doing Easter again at Ricky's parents house. Andrew and Ben are going on another Easter egg hunt. That will be Andrews 3rd Easter egg hunt. I made a ham and sweet potatoes last night so that Ricky could have Easter dinner this morning. Rick said that it was really good.

I will try and post some pictures this next week I don't know how it will go but I will try

Nights and Weekends

So this last week Rick has change d to night shift at work. That means a total change of schedule not just with him but with Andrew and me. Rick goes to work at like 3 pm and gets home around 7 am! That is a lot of hours away from the house! I think that it was after 3 days of work he had 42 hours in for the week and I don't think that that includes the 1 hour drive each way. We are all so tired. We all miss each other so much! This morning when Rick got home from work he gave me his check to put into the bank and said here is your payment for not seeing me! It is so hard on us! I love that he is doing this for our family so we can do many things later in life.

Nights - from 3 pm on it is Andrew and I at home! We either play games or go on a walk. Eat dinner then it is pretty much time for bed. At bed time we read a book so it is our down time together. After I put Andrew to bed I make dinner for Ricky and us for the next night so that Rick can have dinner when he gets home and lunch for his next night shift. I tend to go to bed after 11pm every night. I wake up so many times during the night. Insomnia sucks. I get 3 to 5 hours of sleep a night! I am out of bed by 6am at the latest. I start getting Ricks dinner together and clean up dishes, start laundry things that I used to do during the day when I was alone at home during the day. Rick calls me around 6:30 every morning to tell me he is about 15 minutes away. Rick gets home eats Andrew wakes up for the day and we all sit around and just try and relax for a little. Rick goes to bed 7:30 ish. At 8:30 ish it is time to get going to school. I drop Andrew off at school before 9 and run errands if I have any then go home and i have to be quiet so that Rick can sleep. At about 2 I get ricks lunch together and wake him up around 2:30 and our days start over. CRAZY!

This weekend is a little different because Andrew went to his moms house for the weekend. It is way too quiet around our house. I miss Andrew. It was so cute to see him before he went with his mom he didn't want to go he wanted to stay with me so he could see daddy. It is so hard not to cry in front of him about not seeing dad. So far I have not cried in front of Andrew or Rick. I cry when I'm in my car and no one else is around. Life feels so messed up right now. Also this weekend I have to do Easter. I'm going into town tomorrow while Rick is sleeping. I really don't know what to do for Easter. I think that Sunday I will be dying eggs. This will be so interesting.

We will see how it goes.

Love you Husband. - Wife

Healthy Lifestyle

For the last 4 and a half months I have been trying to workout and eat health. I have been measuring myself because I am not just doing cardio. I am doing some weight lifting and muscles weight more than fat so the scale has not gone down any yet but I am losing inches.

Even with measuring it still gets discouraging. As of late I have been so discouraged that I don't feel like I should go on. So about a month ago I went to the doctors to see what would help! While there we talked about my health in general. We found out that I am depressed and that I am overweight. Both of these things go hand in hand for me. When I get depressed I eat. I have been this way for a long time. I have to try and break the habit. So to help with the depression the doctor has gotten me on an antidepressant. The anti depression medician that I am on is also supposed to help with weight loss - hunger - as well as the depression

During this last month I have been trying to watch what I eat and how much I eat. I do really good at breakfast and dinner time but between those time when no one is home i feel like eating all the time. So what do I do I fill myself up on carbs. So even thought I am doing cardio and weight lifting I am not doing my body any good. I have a carb addiction. I am going to try and deal with this in the next month and try to eat good carbs and not bad carbs.

Today is going to be a new start for me. I am going to go on a walk or jog everyday no matter what. This will most likely happen after I take Andrew to school and before I get settled down for the day. I take the dog with me so that I will push myself to get the dog some exercise as well. I am going to write down what exercise I do each day and what I eat each day. This way I can keep track on when I have a bad day and when I have a good day. I am also going to write down how I felt about what I did each day. I think that this will help me keep on track.

Meal Planning

So lately I have been trying to do some meal planning. I try to plan the whole week on Sundays so that on Monday when I go to the store I can get everything that I need for the whole week.

Meals for this week:

Monday - Sweet and sour Chicken
Tuesday - Flank Steak
Wednesday - Crock Pot Chicken
Thursday - London Broil
Friday - Stuffing Stuffed Chicken
Saturday - Sassy Chicken
Sunday - Ham and Potatoes for Easter.

Items that I need to get for the week (including items for lunch and breakfast)
Food Pavilion or Safeway
carrots
broccoli
cauliflower
sweet potatoes
red and green peppers
red onion
limes
lemons
zucchini
shallot
red wine vinegar
ham
london broil
flank steak - or carne asada
chicken - whole
rice-a-roni
stuffing
Italian dressing packets
cream of mushroom soup
oats - Ricky breakfast
jam
raisins
cereal - Andrew breakfast
eggs
milk

When I am looking up dinner ideas and before i go shopping I try and look for any coupons that will help with making my shopping cheaper. I also try to plan my dinners around coupons. I go to the Safeway and food pavilion websites to see who has the cheapest items for the week.

Meal planning is also a way for me and my family to try to eat healthier. I try to make everything homemade. If I can't make it myself I try to figure out how to do it. I am trying not to eat preservatives. I don't think that they are good for us. I have been trying to make whole wheat bread but I have been having some difficulties. I also want to make pita bread.

I will have to share some of the recipies for this week later.

SNOW in April!!

This morning when I woke up to get Rick out the door it was cold! There was light rain if any at 4:45 am! Well I went back to bed and when I woke up at 7:30 am to get ready for the day and get Andrew to school I looked out the window and was like what the heak it is SNOWING! Yes snow in April. I finished getting Andrews lunch together and showered and then I woke Andrew up - he was not too happy about being woken up. I told him that it was snowing and he just rolled over. It is kind of exciting to get snow in April but I hope that it is the last snow fall this spring. I am ready for Sunny days! I read my sisters blog this morning and she has some really nice weather and some heat. I wish that I has some sun and some heat. I would be more than willing to share this cold weather for some warmer weather. But I can't complain because it is no longer 32 deg. out side it now is 41 deg. and rising. and only 2 hours and 10 deg. warmer. Hopefully the sun will come out today! it looks like it wants to. On other notes today 3 years ago my opa Toni died. He died of lung cancer and donated his body to science. We have his ashes back and he is sitting in a closet at my parents place. I miss my opa a lot. I wish that I knew more about him and his life. Love ya Opa. I have been reading my Edna book. There are a lot of things in that book that are intersting. Some of the dates are wrong... Oh yeah and Chad you were never born! I think that grandma was just too happy to be writing a book to have anyone in the family read it before she got it published. She and grandpa lived in so many different houses, it would have been nice to see pictures of all the houses. If you want to learn more about grandma and grandpas life go ahead and read it, You just may find it instresting. Well I'm going to be heading out to the hospital to see Jamie and Emily. They had there little boy yesterday morning at like 3 am. There little boy is 8 lbs 1 inch 21 inches long and his name is Joshua Lee Elsbree. Very cute cant wait to meet him.