Nights and Weekends

So this last week Rick has change d to night shift at work. That means a total change of schedule not just with him but with Andrew and me. Rick goes to work at like 3 pm and gets home around 7 am! That is a lot of hours away from the house! I think that it was after 3 days of work he had 42 hours in for the week and I don't think that that includes the 1 hour drive each way. We are all so tired. We all miss each other so much! This morning when Rick got home from work he gave me his check to put into the bank and said here is your payment for not seeing me! It is so hard on us! I love that he is doing this for our family so we can do many things later in life.

Nights - from 3 pm on it is Andrew and I at home! We either play games or go on a walk. Eat dinner then it is pretty much time for bed. At bed time we read a book so it is our down time together. After I put Andrew to bed I make dinner for Ricky and us for the next night so that Rick can have dinner when he gets home and lunch for his next night shift. I tend to go to bed after 11pm every night. I wake up so many times during the night. Insomnia sucks. I get 3 to 5 hours of sleep a night! I am out of bed by 6am at the latest. I start getting Ricks dinner together and clean up dishes, start laundry things that I used to do during the day when I was alone at home during the day. Rick calls me around 6:30 every morning to tell me he is about 15 minutes away. Rick gets home eats Andrew wakes up for the day and we all sit around and just try and relax for a little. Rick goes to bed 7:30 ish. At 8:30 ish it is time to get going to school. I drop Andrew off at school before 9 and run errands if I have any then go home and i have to be quiet so that Rick can sleep. At about 2 I get ricks lunch together and wake him up around 2:30 and our days start over. CRAZY!

This weekend is a little different because Andrew went to his moms house for the weekend. It is way too quiet around our house. I miss Andrew. It was so cute to see him before he went with his mom he didn't want to go he wanted to stay with me so he could see daddy. It is so hard not to cry in front of him about not seeing dad. So far I have not cried in front of Andrew or Rick. I cry when I'm in my car and no one else is around. Life feels so messed up right now. Also this weekend I have to do Easter. I'm going into town tomorrow while Rick is sleeping. I really don't know what to do for Easter. I think that Sunday I will be dying eggs. This will be so interesting.

We will see how it goes.

Love you Husband. - Wife

Healthy Lifestyle

For the last 4 and a half months I have been trying to workout and eat health. I have been measuring myself because I am not just doing cardio. I am doing some weight lifting and muscles weight more than fat so the scale has not gone down any yet but I am losing inches.

Even with measuring it still gets discouraging. As of late I have been so discouraged that I don't feel like I should go on. So about a month ago I went to the doctors to see what would help! While there we talked about my health in general. We found out that I am depressed and that I am overweight. Both of these things go hand in hand for me. When I get depressed I eat. I have been this way for a long time. I have to try and break the habit. So to help with the depression the doctor has gotten me on an antidepressant. The anti depression medician that I am on is also supposed to help with weight loss - hunger - as well as the depression

During this last month I have been trying to watch what I eat and how much I eat. I do really good at breakfast and dinner time but between those time when no one is home i feel like eating all the time. So what do I do I fill myself up on carbs. So even thought I am doing cardio and weight lifting I am not doing my body any good. I have a carb addiction. I am going to try and deal with this in the next month and try to eat good carbs and not bad carbs.

Today is going to be a new start for me. I am going to go on a walk or jog everyday no matter what. This will most likely happen after I take Andrew to school and before I get settled down for the day. I take the dog with me so that I will push myself to get the dog some exercise as well. I am going to write down what exercise I do each day and what I eat each day. This way I can keep track on when I have a bad day and when I have a good day. I am also going to write down how I felt about what I did each day. I think that this will help me keep on track.

Meal Planning

So lately I have been trying to do some meal planning. I try to plan the whole week on Sundays so that on Monday when I go to the store I can get everything that I need for the whole week.

Meals for this week:

Monday - Sweet and sour Chicken
Tuesday - Flank Steak
Wednesday - Crock Pot Chicken
Thursday - London Broil
Friday - Stuffing Stuffed Chicken
Saturday - Sassy Chicken
Sunday - Ham and Potatoes for Easter.

Items that I need to get for the week (including items for lunch and breakfast)
Food Pavilion or Safeway
carrots
broccoli
cauliflower
sweet potatoes
red and green peppers
red onion
limes
lemons
zucchini
shallot
red wine vinegar
ham
london broil
flank steak - or carne asada
chicken - whole
rice-a-roni
stuffing
Italian dressing packets
cream of mushroom soup
oats - Ricky breakfast
jam
raisins
cereal - Andrew breakfast
eggs
milk

When I am looking up dinner ideas and before i go shopping I try and look for any coupons that will help with making my shopping cheaper. I also try to plan my dinners around coupons. I go to the Safeway and food pavilion websites to see who has the cheapest items for the week.

Meal planning is also a way for me and my family to try to eat healthier. I try to make everything homemade. If I can't make it myself I try to figure out how to do it. I am trying not to eat preservatives. I don't think that they are good for us. I have been trying to make whole wheat bread but I have been having some difficulties. I also want to make pita bread.

I will have to share some of the recipies for this week later.

SNOW in April!!

This morning when I woke up to get Rick out the door it was cold! There was light rain if any at 4:45 am! Well I went back to bed and when I woke up at 7:30 am to get ready for the day and get Andrew to school I looked out the window and was like what the heak it is SNOWING! Yes snow in April. I finished getting Andrews lunch together and showered and then I woke Andrew up - he was not too happy about being woken up. I told him that it was snowing and he just rolled over. It is kind of exciting to get snow in April but I hope that it is the last snow fall this spring. I am ready for Sunny days! I read my sisters blog this morning and she has some really nice weather and some heat. I wish that I has some sun and some heat. I would be more than willing to share this cold weather for some warmer weather. But I can't complain because it is no longer 32 deg. out side it now is 41 deg. and rising. and only 2 hours and 10 deg. warmer. Hopefully the sun will come out today! it looks like it wants to. On other notes today 3 years ago my opa Toni died. He died of lung cancer and donated his body to science. We have his ashes back and he is sitting in a closet at my parents place. I miss my opa a lot. I wish that I knew more about him and his life. Love ya Opa. I have been reading my Edna book. There are a lot of things in that book that are intersting. Some of the dates are wrong... Oh yeah and Chad you were never born! I think that grandma was just too happy to be writing a book to have anyone in the family read it before she got it published. She and grandpa lived in so many different houses, it would have been nice to see pictures of all the houses. If you want to learn more about grandma and grandpas life go ahead and read it, You just may find it instresting. Well I'm going to be heading out to the hospital to see Jamie and Emily. They had there little boy yesterday morning at like 3 am. There little boy is 8 lbs 1 inch 21 inches long and his name is Joshua Lee Elsbree. Very cute cant wait to meet him.

Great Aunt Leoni!

Today I got up at 4:30am got my wonderful husband up and out the door for work by 5:15am. On a typical day I will fall back asleep until like 7:30am or so! Well not today! Today I stayed up and got lunch together for Andrew and I, got the dogs ready for the day. I woke Andrew up a couple minutes before 7am and we were out the door by 7:05am. I dropped him off at Grandma and Grandpa Brooks house at 7:25am and was at my parents house by 8:10am. Then we got into the Hummer and headed to Seattle!

No we did not go to Seattle to play we went to Seattle to drop them off at the airport. They are headed to the Netherlands as we speak. They will get there at like 8am thursday and it is only a 10 hr flight! I don't think that I would enjoy feeling like I am traveling for 24 hrs. Oh and being awake that long UGH...

They are headed to the Netherland / Holland to go and see my great aunt Leoni. It is kind of an emergency trip. Leoni has been sick for about 4 years I think... She has Lung Cancer. She was diagnosed at about the same time as my Grandfather - her brother. She is in the hospital over there waiting to see my parents and then after that she wants to die. She has beat cancer 3 times I guess that the 4th time just gets you bad. I don't think that this will be a particular fun trip for my parents.

So now after 5 hours of driving I'm back at my parents house and just need a little time to stand up and walk around.

Aunt Leoni you will be missed dearly. I love you and it was great getting to know you.

Changes Coming

So as you all know that life for me has been a little stressful lately! Things may be getting better or worse depends on how you look at it... Rick this week was offered a position on nights during the turnaround this year. Not only will he be on nights he will be the big wig for laborers meaning that he will be working crazy hours. I don't know how I'm taking it yet! I think that it will take me some time to get used to.

Other than that I am a stay at home step mom right now. Ricky and I are thinking about me not going back to work. I don't know how I feel about this either. That it interesting. I don't sleep much because I'm afraid that I'm going to miss one of the alarms or something else is going to happen.
I have been trying to work out 3 times a week! Andrew goes to work out with me. We end up going to the Everson Firehall and doing our workouts there. Jennie, Ricks mom, goes and works out with us. We enjoy our work outs. I think that I need to bump up the intensity tho. It really feels good to be working out again.

If anyone has any pointers on how to lose belly fat please let me know! I am eating healthier now and trying to lose some of the weight that I have put on in the last couple of years. I am doing ok. I just want it gone now... and I know that that will not happen.

So on with the trek of losing weight and eating healthier. It is difficult especially when I am not really looking forward to Ricky being on nights. I know that I'm going to have to find myself some hobbies that can keep me occupied while he is sleeping during the days. I'll have to keep you updated on that one.

Curve Ball

Sometimes in my life I feel like curve balls are thrown in my direction left and right! There are so many things that make life difficult. Lately in my life I just don't know what to do! A lot of the time I just run through the motions of doing things until i get frustrated with the way I'm living. I know that it is bad habit. But how do you break a bad habit.

I have a few goals to get myself out of this self destruction this year.

Goal one is to lose weight! I am exercising 3 days a week and eating better! So far I think that I have lost 10 lbs! I really don't know because every time I weigh myself I do it on a different scale. I feel better about myself when I do work out. I actually get the urge to go out for runs! - thats a first.

Goal two! Try to be a happier person and don't forget what I have. There is a lot behind this one! I am one to tend to forget what I have. I am so set in my ways of being independent that I feel like I can not depend on anyone else. I don't know how to get out of that and that is what I really need to work on I guess. I take my husband and step son for granted a lot. that is all I can say about that one for now.

Goal Three. Stop being a jealous person. I am jealous of almost everyone and any relationship. I feel that everything that I touch destructs because of me and my jealousy. I don't know how to change it. I hate hurting because I hurt others!

Sorry for these sad downer goals but they are what I need to work on.